SON OF SOBS: WHU

We are back where we belong, with a startling amount of fresh blood to boot. This was due to the startling fact the all the teams who were promoted in the previous two season were relegated the following season. We return to a Premiership where the top 10 now feels like the top 7. Our team behind the scenes had clearly been ready for this with our early recruitment drive, breaking transfer record after transfer record.

I'd spent most of the summer getting to grips with new players names. Pre-season in tropical Shields and in Portugal hoping they wouldn't let Luke O9 near a golf buggy.

We dropped over 100 million in the blink of an eye. We spent roughly more than we've spent in the previous 10 season combined. Obviously I haven't adjusted for inflation, I've got Premiership football to watch! With the new boots through the door the club also had fun and games with the language barrier during their introductory interviews. Reinildo gave it a go good in broken English for eight minutes. Top lad. With Adingra and Talbi the club trimmed the interviews back, like a Buddy Holly A-side to a tidy 2 and a bit minutes. By the time they got to Diarra, the club decided just to let him do it in French. Though with a bit of digging, English was the most spoken language at when he was at Strasbourg. Even more cam through the door right up to match day. But I'm sure you know all about them...

West Ham. Proper kick off time. We're back...

The roar of the SOL was deafening and the opening seconds were a lofty game of ping pong. The Hammers opted for aerial attack. Roefs was on fire for our first corner back in the Premier League, swatting away the lofty ball into the box. Diarra showed his poise going forward and was unphased by the opposition.

Ten mins in, West Ham had barely been in our final third. We had some dominant play for the next ten mins. Adingra stropped a little bit when the ball was played behind his run by Seelt. Danny Dyer's son in law drew a foul and lord Ward-Prowse stepped up and one of the best set piece takers in the world promptly kicked it out for throw in.

Our defence was tested well just before the half hour mark and we dealt with it reasonably well but despite our promising start the stats were in the visitors' favour. The all day breakfast I'd had now felt like a bad choice. Captain Xhaka steeped up for our first free kick back in the Premier League. So far Diarra had looked completely unphased by anything the opposition had thrown at him and Seelt had put a no-nonsense stamp on his game.

Close to half time Habib stormed forward and an impressive sequence tested the Hammers leading to a couple of fruitless corners. The visitors looked a little rattled as the ref blew for half time. Cool heads had so far prevailed.

Second half started.

We kicked off and RLBs hairline seemed to have moved during the break. We got forward early with Adingra unable to guide an awkward ball between the sticks. Jensen got sandwiched between players and had to have a bit of a lie down. Left with one center back, West Ham pressed. Jensen tried to return to the field but hit the deck shortly after, poor lad. Omar stepped up to fill the gap left by the rising star. Not a bad swap at all. His first two touches moments later were pretty slick and the crowd let him know.

Mayenda tussled with super villain 'Kilman' and the resulting free kick saw Diarra surge forward, but the cross was blocked for a corner. West Ham had clearly seen big Dans header against Coventry and surrounded with bit half their squad. He did manage to get his head on it but due to the pressure it was understandably off target, unless he was aiming for a pigeon.

Then up he stepped... Hey big man, what's ya name?! ELIEZER MAYENDA.

An inch perfect assist from our debutant CB to Mayenda and we had our first goal back in the Premier League. Limbs ensued. West Ham were not messing around and we still had work to do. Never the less 'GTFI' as the kids say. 20 mins to go and West Ham made some changes. We won a free kick on the edge of our box, but the ball was dealt with by the munster in goal. Adingra won it back and won us a corner. Once again Ballard was surrounded by a sea of West Ham players. The corner was punched away, Reinildo picked it up and cut back to Adingra who found Dan Ballard still in the box. BOOM!

RLBs touchline reaction was exuberant and I'm no lip reader, but I'm sure it was also pretty profane. West Ham responded with a series of fruitless corners. The Sol was bouncing, with Sadiki and other players egging on the crowd. But they were already fairly egged. Enzo and Wilson joined the party. The Hammers switched things up and hammered away. 5 mins or so to go. Graham Pothead turned away in disgust at numerous squandered chances. Roefs showed more of his promise with a top draw wonder save.

7 minutes added time. 'Mom's spaghetti'.

Moments later those worries were put to bed by Wilson Isidor. Good grief. Talbi found Issy in space on the left and he cut inside to find the bottom corner. He'd had plenty of practice last season. 3-0.

Our first Prem win in August since 2010. West Ham weren't rubbish either. They were however trying to knock lumps out of us. Even picking on Chris Rigg. Buggers. You can't ask for more than that. More balls into the box, superb link-up play and MUCH better at areal duels.

We are back!

Keep the faith,

GPD