SON OF SOBS: PVFC

After what feels like yonks, its good to be back at the keyboard. Not so much the result. As my job starts in the middle of the night, its been a while since I got to write one of these. Check out the last one I did though - was a good one. Anyway enough of boring work...

*WARNING - The waffle in this match report was written by an unprofessional dyslexic, so for your safety and the enjoyment of those around you, do not attempt to what you're about  to read too seriously.

5th round of the FA cup took us to the thinning greenery of the imaginatively named 'Vale Park'. The side we fielded was about as strong as we could muster given the ever-growing list of fallen players. In recent matches Reggie has switched up his tactics. Given our dip in form towards the end of last season I was worried at the prospect of possible technical stagnation. Nope. RLB has had his finger on the pulse. The last couple haven't been great watches but we'd managed to switch things around midweek. When we'd last played dirty Leeds at their place and lost out late on, I got colourful inbox messages from Leeds fans and got called bitter - which, of course, I was. However that bitterness was massively eclipsed by that of their supporters, who chose not to pay attention to the clear replays of the blatant deliberate handball. To all those Leeds fans that inboxed me, that one was for you.

1:30 kick off.

After a slightly sketchy start Mayenda managed to hit the post with a gentle header off his 'fro finding the woodwork. An angry member of The Bash Street kids claimed to have diverted it with his head, but the replay revealed he'd just enthusiastically fallen over. The travelling RAWA in fine voice as always - teaching the home support you could sing more than one song if you really put your mind to it. My favourite chant this season rang out for my top tip for who I think could be our hottest future prospect...

'In your head - Talbi, Talbi, Talbi...'

Sitting at the bottom of League One, Port Vale pressed like they had nothing to lose. Their angry little manager was the opposite of our Mr Cool RLB. The scatty little man ranted and raved so much early on I couldn't tell if he was angry at his players, our players, the ref or something from his childhood.

Our first test came from O9, who did a very O9 thing and shot from the touch line, forcing a headed save from Melker at the back. He smiled, but he should have screamed. This spell of pressure lead to a set piece into the box They got the first second and third touch, before a headed effort that floated into the back of our net. Bugger. Not good enough.

1 - 0 to Port Vale

News soon floated in Ross Stewart had knocked Fulham out from the spot. Interesting.

The home side looked absolutely full of themselves and threw everything at us, including a questionable challenge on BDB. Alderete wandered out and found our AFCON winner, but Habib was unable to flick it past the keeper. With ten minutes we pressed high but Nilson seemed to not know what to do when he got into a crossing position in the penalty area. This was followed by another 5 minutes of everyone else forgetting how to cross the ball. We tried to be composed but we just seemed languid.

On the forty minute mark we had 3 shots on target to their 4 and our 60% possession didn't feel very convincing. We'd gone into the match with the pitch being our biggest concern, however we'd just looked a bit daft. Habib broke into a brilliant area but no one was able to reach his ball across the goalmouth. 3 minutes of extra time were added as I was reminded PV have only conceded once in their current FA cup run.

We spent the closing minutes in the final third, having finally found some vim. But at efforts led to nothing. We were leading on possession, passes and shots on target but went into the break one nil down.

A cheeky young Sunderland fan scored a penner at half time and reminded the home fans who we were by pointing to the PL badge on his sleeve. Hopefully we could back up his confidence in the second half.

We started the second half the best way we could by smashing the ball up field to Angulo, who'd been our best player in the first half. We picked up where we'd left off and set up camp in the final third. It didn't last though. Talbi got caught with an elbow that do Bronx would have been proud off but managed to soldier on.

The next five involved saw the home side try more long balls than Bad Grandpa. We kept them in their half as they made their second defensive sub of the afternoon. We won a dubious corner and Rigg's deep corner saw his first real contribution, having been pretty anonymous up until now. Sorry, Riggy.

Our ropey afternoon saw another contentious moment as Melker was reviewed over a DOGSO. Look it up. Another set piece saw the ref's work cut out for him as the home fans found a third song in the form of 'Sh*t referee'. As 70 minutes rolled round Wilson replaced Talbi, as Mayenda moved onto the right wing. We stepped up for a corner, which was hit over the bar by Ballard. Angulo had a pop with a fine header but the home keeper managed to keep it out. Another corner found Ballard who managed another head but missed the target. With 20 mins to go the home players were laughing and smiling with every decision, whereas we continued our struggle to get a decent ball into the box.

77 minutes and my eyes gazed to our bench, hoping for an appearance from GX. Our best chance of the game so far came and went with Angulo missing at the back post and the linesman flagging it offside. The Valiant counter attack saw O9 make a superb block. Granit finally made and appearance, replacing Rigg.

Like our recent performance our attacking fault had been a lack of attacking balls through the middle. Zone 14 (that bit around the D on the edge of the box). Today had been no different. We threw Ballard up front for one last push as 90 minutes rolled around. 6 minutes of added time announced.

Full time: 1-0. 57 places between us, Double the possession, Double the chances and nowt to show for it. A whimpering exit from the cup. They wanted it more than us. Focus on the league?

KTF,

GPD