Day five, and the competition was sort of warming up, with much time being spent by telly watchers trying to work out where the various games were being played. In Budapest, they managed to find 67,000 folks who’d had two Covid jabs and a negative test, which meant a full house for the game against Portugal. In a game which excelled in the feigning of injury, the Portuguese looked likely to score but ran into resolute defending for 80 minutes. I’m not saying that players don’t get hurt, and I know it’s light years away, but we got stuck in just as hard and weighed considerably more…but I managed twenty years of Sunday morning football that saw fewer injuries than any given single game in this tournament. Anyway, that meant that my prediction of a 2-0 win for the Portuguese was going out of the window – until Guerreiro popped in what I presumed would be the winner. Hungary had other ideas, losing their heads and conceding a penalty which a massive Lads fan and perpetual Sunderland target called Ron smacked home – my prediction had come true! Well, it looked that way on 90 minutes, before Ron danced through the Magyars’ defence to score his 106th international goal two minutes into added time. No doubt he celebrated being part of the first team to score three in the last ten minutes at the Euros with a glass of water. As Celtic have allegedly made a “concrete offer” for Charlie Wyke, now would be the perfect time to make that move to Wearside. Exactly how much concrete the offer contains has yet to be revealed.
The “Big Two”, apparently, in the now-compulsory Group of Death, locked horns in Munich, and I decided to watch in the comfort of the front bedroom - might as well get my money’s worth out of that new telly. The two sides contained enough players with World Cup winner’s medals to form a team and a bit, and the contrasting styles were obvious from the off. Germany were Germany – pedantic but getting on a bit – while France displayed a lot more, how you say? Va Va Voom. Pogba looks nothing like the puzzled and often out of place figure he looks at Man U, while Mbappe is just lovely to watch. The daftness of the “keep your flag down until the move’s over” directive was emphasised by his non-goal, but the game was decided by that rarest of beasts, a German own goal. In of his shin, and another one to add to the growing list of “typical Sunderland” things.
Day six brought no more Sunderland transfer news but did see Finland and Russia get together in a St Petersburg encounter best described as unambitious, and approximately nowt happened until two minutes of added time at the end of the first half, when Al Miranchuk scored a beaut – then decided to have nothing more to do with the game, which sort of fizzled out in a flurry of head injuries. The Russian centre forward, who looked about forty, spent the second half (and most of the first, to be fair) hurling himself into the Finnish defenders as if to see which would break first. Baku in the USSR, or rather Azerbaijan, Wales looked to improve on their opening game draw as they came up against the Turks – with the names on the back of the Turkish shirts bearing no resemblance to the names on the teamsheet. They must have been using nicknames of middle names, I think. Anyhow, after missing a sitter, Ramsey took a pass from Bale in a similar position and knocked it past the keeper to give me hope for another correct prediction. That prediction looked to have been blown out of the water when Bale was fouled on the hour and just inside the box, and stepped up to take the penalty himself – and blasted it into the Baku equivalent of the Black Cats Bar. Nice one, Gareth, my prediction was still safe. The Red Dragons then put in a proper tin hats defensive half hour, and, five minutes into added time (mostly Kieffer Moore’s bust nose) twice spurned the opportunity to run the clock down from corners. Both times, Bale ran along the line, first shooting to win the second corner, then crossing low for Roberts to seal the win. A great performance which virtually assures them of progress, although that might depend on whether Switzerland or Turkey cares the most when they meet on Sunday.
Over in Rome, the Italians took on Switzerland with few expecting the cheese men to get anything from the game. With the benefit of two tellies side by side in the Hoss, I had a cracking view of the game, and the Azurri simply ran their opponents ragged. Two goals from Locatelli and a third from Immobile (add appropriate name-based pun here), and a non-stop display makes them, in my opinion at least, the most impressive team in the competition so far. I reckon anyone wanting to win the trophy well need to beat the Azurri at some stage. Two three nil wins makes that a fairly obvious statement, I suppose, but I wouldn’t fancy Wales’s chances, despite their win over Turkey.
In Bucharest on Day seven, the Ukraine (or is it simply Ukraine? Answers on a postcard, please) took on North Macedonia and in a game of very complicated names came out on top. Yarmolenko (of West Ham) and Yaremchuck scored either side of the half hour to give (the) Ukraine the lead before Alioski (Leeds) had a penalty saved but got to the loose ball first to score ten minutes into the second half. Despite piling the pressure on, the Macedonians (northern variety – even though there’s no other Macedonia) couldn’t make the breakthrough to equalise, and with six to go handled in their own penalty area. Dimitrievsji in the Macedonian goal did really well to keep out Malinovskiy’s spot-kick, but the Ukrainians held on for the 2-1 win. There were a few players on show that I’d welcome to SR5, but they’re likely to be snapped up by teams higher up the league ladder than us. It’d cost too much to put the names on their shirts anyway.
Belgium and Denmark, in a 65% full Copenhagen stadium, gave us the chance to see how former loanee Jason Denayer was doing. He took 90 seconds to show us, stabbing a pass off target from the edge of his own area then leaving the eventual goalscorer to chase the loose ball. A very Sunderland moment that was actually crafted on Wearside, and one that made Poulsen the scorer of the second-fastest goal in the Euros. He’s now just behind Russia’s Kirichenko, who took a mere 67 seconds to score against Greece in 2004 and could have had at least one other in the first half. The much-vaunted Belgians were very much second best to the spirited Danes, who had shaken off the lethargy that had characterised their previous game after the Eriksen incident. There was a nice moment on ten minutes when proceedings halted for a spot of applause for Mr Eriksen, and his marras were well worth their half time lead. To sort things out, Roberto Martinez did the obvious and brought on De Bruyne, and he took ten minutes to combine with Lukaku to set up the leveller for the other Hazard (Thorgan). Fifteen minutes later he was on the end of another lovely move to score the winner, and they could really have brought Mignolet on for a while, just to give us a look at the Lad. That win made Belgium the first side to qualify for the next round, and in Amsterdam, Holland became the second a few hours later.
The Johan Cruyff stadium was called the Amsterdam Arena when we played there in July 2009, losing 2-0 to Benfica and beating Atletico Madrid by the same score thanks to a brace from Kieran Richardson. What a weekend that was, with a certain Sunderland fan managing to sleep (in the netty, obviously) through the game after ours to be woken by the cleaner in the middle of the night. Oh for a pre-season tour like that one – we’ll just have to make do with Spennymoor and York this time around. Anyway, the Dutch breezed past an Austrian side that didn’t register a shot (header, actually) on target until the 83rd minute. An early penalty by Mr Memphis put them ahead, and he should really have doubled the lead but produce the miss of the tournament – banging it high over the bar at the back post - after PVA found Weghorst, who should really have volleyed it at goal but chose to pass. Mebbe the keeper had declared “no blammers” before the game started, that would explain it. The Austrians raised their game early in the second half, but the Dutch were comfortably in control and the biggest surprise was that they only managed Dumfries’s 67th minute goal in the half. The win meant that North Macedonia are out of the competition and Holland/Netherlands are into the last 16. It also meant that I’m still top of the Bay Hoss Euro Mini League, but only by two points.
Me 22
Simon 20
Mal 18
Villa Dave 9 (he’s not really trying, is he?)
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