Ahead of the visit of QPR this weekend, which is now a vital game for both teams, we caught up with @LoftforWords and they certainly weren't short of stuff to say...
QPR currently sit in 20th place, how would you review your season so far?
A footballing colonoscopy. Fantastically unpleasant, lasting way longer than you hoped it would… every time you think the worst is over it screws you a little bit deeper and more painfully than before. And there’s a fucking horrendous video of it all for you to watch back afterwards. Initially we knew where we stood. After Honest Mick jumped ship last season the team finished with three wins from its last 24 games, staying up only because of Reading’s points deduction and our miraculous win at Burnley in March. That train wreck was given to Gareth Ainsworth and, even if he hadn’t been hopelessly and horribly out of his depth, he had no FFP headroom to do the surgery the team required. He spent what was left “culture guardians” like Asmir Begovic, Jack Colback, Steve Cook and Morgan Fox in an attempt to craft Wycombe 2.0. Every pre-season preview had us dead last because obviously this wasn’t going to work, and we won just two of our first 14 matches because obviously this wasn’t going to work. Four nil down at Watford by half time on the opening day told you everything you needed to know – Gareth said he thought they might go on to be champions, bless him. In our FourFourTwo season preview we said he’d be “binned off amidst a hail of criticism about his style of play somewhere around the time of Rotherham away in October, leaving Ajax Youth Bot 3.6 to inherit a team built by and for Gareth Ainsworth and spend the rest of the season teaching a 4-box-two formation to Josh Scowen”. And lo, the week before Rotherham away, came former Ajax youth coach Marti Cifuentes, who has since been trying to teach…
Do you think you’ll stay up?
I don’t know. I go through phases with it: we win at Leicester and you think ‘of course we’ll be fine’; then we limp in to a 2-0 defeat at home to Middlesbrough and your heart sinks again. The next five games for us are enormous – Sunderland, Swansea and Plymouth away spaced out around Birmingham and Sheff Wed at home. That’s three/four teams who are in it with us who we could potentially beat and damage at the same time, and another one/two who look like they’re already on the beach, with plenty of gaps on the training ground in between (we’re a nightmare in three game weeks). We don’t score enough goals, our goalkeeper is a liability, and our home form is second only to Rotherham. But, then, we’re playing well, you’ve got people like Chair, Andersen, Willock in decent form, a good centre back pairing, and we’re actually doing okay away for once… I’ve got a horrible feeling we’re going to get to the 52-point mark that’s generally accepted as safe, and it’s going to be the year that it’s not enough. But I’m naturally pessimistic.
What are your thoughts on manager Marti Cifuentes?
I think he’s fantastic, easily the best thing about us. Cifuentes has made a terrific fist of a near impossible job. I thought this was one of the worst QPR team I’d seen in 30 years. He’s got it playing and picking up results, really as much as he possibly could. We’re tenth, or thereabouts, since he took over, and only Leeds have taken more points than us in the last eight games. He’s made mistakes, sure (Sheff Wed A, Plymouth H), but we used to make excuses for Gareth Ainsworth by saying “look at the mess he came into and the lack of resources he had to do anything about it” and then you look at what this guy has been able to do with an even worse inheritance and it’s amazing. We were eight points adrift when he took over. Every now and again after a good result I look to next season and what this guy could do with a full summer, our big 21/22 overspend rolling out of our three-year calculation, a new TV deal etc… And usually those thoughts get interrupted by us playing like dogs and losing 1-0 at Stoke or 2-0 at home to Boro. We’re not allowed nice things, basically, but we might have one on our hands here if only we can escape from this self-inflicted fucktastrophe.
Who’s your best player?
Big Bad Ilias Chair. Cue the weekly influx of eyewitnesses from his kayaking weekend who also happen to be accredited experts in the Belgian legal system. A big thing Cifuentes has had in his favour is Steve Cook getting fit after his late summer move from Forest and, after 18 months of horrible injury problems, Jake Clarke-Salter has also been available for 15 games in a row (most he’s managed for us so far) alongside him. They’ve formed a very solid centre back partnership – statistically the third best for goals conceded in the whole league (0.82 a game, only bettered by Rodon/Ampadu 0.3 and Rose/McNally 0.67).
How have Jake Clarke-Salter, Jimmy Dunne and Jack Colback been getting on?
Clarke-Salter is very decent when he’s fit to play. For the first 18 months of his time here he never was. Having brought him in to replace Yoann Barbet, who’d been released despite completing just shy of 100 consecutive starts for the club, that felt like a typical QPR bit of business. Now Clarke-Salter is fit and playing regularly he’s formed a good partnership with Cook. Dunne started well when he first came, but his form mirrored that of the team. When the Warburton promotion push fell apart the whole place went into a deep spiral. A lot of players seemed to just collapse mentally and lose all their confidence through that period, and then all over again when Honest Mick turned up with his “you versus yourself journey” chat only to walk out on them. Dunne’s form over the last 18 months has been atrocious, but he’s not alone – Seny Dieng collapsed completely having been one of the division’s best goalkeepers, Rob Dickie went from a hot property to somebody who looked like he’d had a mental breakdown, Chris Willock made the top 10 in FourFourTwo’s best players outside the Premier League and then couldn’t even make our team under Ainsworth… Like Dieng and Dickie’s recoveries at Boro and Bristol City respectively, Dunne has recently come back very strongly while being used as a highly unorthodox right back. Whether that will survive once the opposition scouting reports catch up on this switch we’ll see. At the moment I’m pleased to see him playing well again and looking a bit happier because he’s one of the good guys, very genuine, compared to some of the monstrous twats who’ve come through the place over the last couple of seasons. Colback… meh. Some good, some bad. You look at him in some games and think THAT’S what he’s here for, and then in others he’s deeply frustrating. He’s been out of the team too much – six games missed with bans, including three for that bloody dim red card against your lot. Missed all the winter with some injury or other. Best ability is availability and all that. You can’t guard much culture from the back of the stand Jack.
How did your January window go and what do you need in summer?
January looked like it was going to be tough for the same reason the summer was tough – until 21/22 rolls out of the three-year calculations we are tight to the FFP line. In the end, after a desperate run of results through Christmas, they managed to free up some salary space by shifting a few out – this mercifully included our high-earning “ball playing midfielder” (two goals, two assists, two and a half years) Andre The Friendly Ghost heading to Birmingham. With that they got Isaac Hayden from Newcastle and Joe Hodge from Wolves, essentially for nothing right at the very end of the window because both needed to play and there were no other offers. Both been good. Michy Frey has come in on a favourable deal after falling out with Royal Antwerp and so far he looks… basic. Lucas Andersen was kicking around on a free transfer after injury and a relegation at AaB in Denmark and so far he looks… dreamy.
Were you surprised at how quickly Michael Beale was sacked at Sunderland?
Ha ha, here we go. How long you got? Feel free to edit this to fit but you did ask… To a certain extent, yes, I was. Mick Beale In Principle should have been absolutely ideally suited to Sunderland and the squad of players you’ve got. Sunderland have focused on youth in their recruitment, brought in lots of excellent academy boys from home and abroad, want to develop them into assets while progressing up the leagues, play progressive and modern football… correct me when I go wrong, but this is the plan right? I know it’s all gone to shit this season but this is, in theory, the plan? Youngest team in the league etc. And that’s what Beale is meant to be about. That is the image he has worked hard to cultivate: this brilliant coaching mind; futsal Mick; Chelsea and Liverpool academy Mick; went to Brazil to further his development Mick; brain behind the Gerrard success at Rangers Mick; call me Mick, Mick. So, if we’re to assume there’s some substance to that, then Sunderland is ideal isn’t it? Keep him well away from the recruitment (because he bollocksed that up with us and in Glasgow) and just let him coach the young squad of players you’ve put together and you’ll fly right? Right? Is this thing on?
And then, to a certain extent, no, I wasn’t. As an outsider looking in, there were a couple of red flags for whoever got your gig. Tony Mowbray was likeable, doing a reasonable job, and the fans seemed, at worst, divided on whether it was right to sack him. Expectations are also relatively high – certainly when compared to a club like ours – because of the facilities and the fanbase and making the play-offs last year. So straight away you’ve got to do pretty well just to be seen to be parring the course. Look, I get that you’re never going to turn the Sunderland job down if you get offered it, but after what happened at QPR and Rangers the ideal job for Beale would have been lower down at somewhere like Charlton, where expectations are small but potential for growth is high. Get them promoted, rebuild your reputation, move onto better things from there – who knows, maybe Wolves will approach you again, completely at random, without ever meeting you, interviewing you twice, or speaking to the agent you definitely don’t have.
On top of that you then have the baggage he carries from the previous two jobs. The Rangers support base is enormous, and off the scale when it comes to online, socials, message boards etc - they tear you apart up there even if you do alright (Mark Warburton) and Beale was third in a two-horse race. QPR is a lot smaller, but you still have twats like me doing pieces like this telling everybody our version of what happened. The Sunderland fans were only ever going to be hearing bad things about the guy. Friend of mine who runs a PR firm (don’t hold it against him) said when Beale got the job the first thing he should do is drop an apology for what happened at QPR and how he handled it into an interview. Not for our benefit, nobody cares about us, but because what happened here made him look like a proper dick, and people saw it. People saw what happened at QPR and they didn’t like it. It’ll be the same at his next job if he doesn’t address it. Again, this sets him back before he’s even begun – Sunderland fans (rightly) thinking he’ll either be shit, or if he does well he’ll be lifting his skirt up at every passing Premier League club again.
Beale also does not come across as a likeable guy. For a start, he’s got a terrible habit of saying things that just aren’t true. Really obvious things. We did his first interview at QPR and he said the club had been guilty of signing 30+ year olds on big money to “hold Rob Dickie’s hand” and he wouldn’t be doing that – fortnight later, Leon Balogun turns up. He said he didn’t want to sign loan players because in the heat of a Championship season they wouldn’t be committed to QPR and would be looking around elsewhere (oh, the irony) - fortnight later, four loan signings (three of whom, along with Balogun, did indeed turn out to be out biggest problem children once he’d fucked off). He just comes across, rightly or wrongly, as a bullshitter. I noticed at Sunderland he accused you guys of taking against him because of his Cockney accent despite him “not working in London for ten years”. Mick, sweetheart, QPR isn’t like Port Vale, people know where it is. And they know you were the manager there. There were pictures of it happening and stuff. It was on the television. He just can’t seem to open his mouth without saying things that are blatantly, provably complete bollocks. And people don’t like that - look at the general election polling.
Sorry, I know this is going on, but there’s also a real arrogant, hubristic element. Things that go well – Mick’s doing. Things that don’t go well – somebody else’s fault. The constant dropping of “Trent” into conversations – were there any other coaches at Liverpool’s academy? The alleged anonymous Twitter account explaining how he didn’t really blank that substitute contrary to everything you saw on the TV – prime cut. Ordering the players in for extra Sunday training then not turning up himself – absolutely textbook. Again, people don’t like that stuff, and, again, you’re replacing Tony Mowbray who, for all his faults, seems like a top bloody fella. Read the room.
I do get it to a certain extent. Football is a game of bullshitters. Harry Redknapp has entered the chat. To work your way up through football to the point where you’re getting the QPR, Rangers and Sunderland jobs is incredibly difficult with no playing background to speak of and you’ve got to have the chat and the self-promotion to go with the ability to do that. But his results now he’s reached that level call into some doubt how much of it is ability to coach, and how much of it is ability to deliver a brilliant PowerPoint in interviews. How much of this “brains behind Steven Gerrard” is actually the case, and how much is just because he claimed that for himself by doing every podcast going, wrote books, did his own blog, worked social media really well. Gary McAllister was on that coaching team – great player, extensive management and coaching experience – and I don’t see people falling at his feet, giving him all the credit, appointing him as Sunderland manager. Is Mick Beale really a brilliant coach, or is that just Mick Beale saying Mick Beale is a brilliant coach? I mean, if you were looking for a couple of suckers to fall for it then short of Mrs Krabappel handing over the keys to her apartment and ATM card, I can’t really think of two more likely candidates than QPR and Sunderland. Intrigued to see where he ends up next and what he does with it.
Which Sunderland player are you most worried about?
Is Jack Clarke still injured please? I don’t know, Bellingham the Younger? That Ballard lad seems to have really taken against us since Buster Merryfield trod on his ankle getting up for a piss in the night as well.
Score prediction for Saturday?
I think I’ve said enough.
