Watford, Saturday 29 th December, 12 Noon. My ex was visiting our girls Nicola and Emma. What to do, where to go for a few hours? Not really wanting to see him. (I'm being polite here you understand) I headed off to my brother's. After a cuppa he said the family were off to the match. There were going early as parking near the ground is often a problem. "Come with us!" my brother, my nephew and his four year old son said (calling him my great nephew makes me sound old and I'm still only 24 in my head). No tickets at the turnstiles today so my brother buys it online at £30. I mean £30 to see second top playing second bottom of the Championship!

Anyway, we all pile into the car, family, neighbours, children. This could be a fun day after all......But Jeff. I'm going to miss Jeff and his disciples on Sky. If I can't get to Sunderland that is my second best place to be. Sat glued to Sky Sports News and Jeff's wit. He is God in his field of football. Oh, what am I doing here when I could and should be at home by the TV? No worries, it's going to be a fun day. Oh no! I've got no colours on and nothing of ALS or SAFC design, and no badges. It's all bad. I always don something of quality for SAFC and for Jeff. Too late, relax and enjoy the day.

An hour before kick off and the place is dead. But we see Chamberlain and Poom warming-up in front of us. "They both used to play for Sunderland," I tell young Jake. "Like Michael Chopra does?" he replies. You see I drop the odd name to him occasionally and he is picking this up and learning fast. At the end of the warm-up we get their autographs. I tell them both I'm a Mackem, smiles all round. We lost them both for a few seconds as fond memories passed in front of their eyes. Back to reality and the bitterly cold day in Hertfordshire.

I am sorry for my brother and family as Watford are dire. They go 3-0 down by half-time. "Oh Jeff, I miss you so!" I just have to make do with my nephew's mobile which gives us up to the minute Premiership scores. We are one up. Two up. 2-1. I wish I was there. "Come on Watford!" the pitiful cries go out. 3-1 to QPR. 4-1. 4-2. This is dire. I would rather see my ex than this, well no, but it's a close call!

3-1 to us. Result. There was no smiling or gloating from me on the way home as I might have been made to walk. I didn't mention Sunderland as my family were all dismantling Watford for their lack of idea, commitment, quality and desire. And as I was born in Watford General Hospital which is next to the Vicarage Road Stadium, my brother thinks I should support Watford.

So Jeff, it might be over for us. If this is what happens when I don't see you on a Saturday then I will have to change my routine. And what of my wardrobe? All those tops neatly hanging ready for important times. I will wear them all the time except during a match. But where to go when we play and I can't get up to the Stadium of Light? Anywhere but Vicarage Road please, anywhere but there.

So listen up boys, trust me in this. You do not want to be in the Championship. It truly is a different league, world, and universe. It's not for you, not ever again. Pull out all the stops and stay up. I will trust you to do this if you trust me to rectify my wardrobe malfunction.