Well so that was Christmas, and I sincerely hope that you got what you wanted/needed/deserved. Accepting wishes of good luck when leaving town for the match, no matter how well intentioned, has been about as difficult as understanding a Gus Poyet interview. I’ve had a good Christmas, if attending the funeral of a good friend on Christmas Eve can be classed as good, but the lad in question would have been proud of the amount of Sunderland stuff on show, so let’s hope that if there is a thereafter he’s there arguing the toss with Brain Gill, Ronnie’s dad, and all the other Red and Whites who have left us in this last year.

So it was an early departure from the Station, as it was a Bank Holiday and that, with a small band of shifty-looking youth around the pool table. Perhaps the fact that the one with the most damage to his face was wearing a Mag polo shirt and hiding as low as he could get explained their shiftiness. A mid-day arrival in town meant that I could wander, lonely as a Mackem, down to the King’s and then the Salty to meet up with the usual Christmas visitors from the USA. A couple of pints later and it was off to the match, the Waghorn-related rumours were confirmed. The star of the youths and reserves was the latest subject of Keano’s promise to give the bairns a chance when the opportunity arose. Gordon was in goal, Deano and Collins at fullbacks, with Higgi and McShane in the centre. Midfield comprised Chopra (wasted) on the right, Dicka and Yorke in the middle and Wallace out left, while Jones was partnered by the aforementioned Waghorn. Wallace managed a shot on three minutes as the two teams sort of measured each other out (us –“shit, they’re good”. Man Utd “ohh, this might be a stroll”) Dicka put in some good defensive work, then the ref (Uriah Rennie, are they just taking the proverbial?) decided that if a Man Utd player feel down it would be a free kick, so he gave one. Gordon set the tone for the afternoon by palming/forearming the ball away for the first of about a dozen times, then produced another good save a couple of minutes later. Dicka the found Jones, but the shot was away for a corner, which we failed to convert. Obviously spurred on by this, Dicka burst through in the inside-left position only fail to do what his kid brother has been doing fairly spectacularly of late (not score, in case you haven’t been watching MOTD).

Deano and Chopra combined to get away from defence, and the move ended with Waghorns’ effort going behind on about 16 minutes, and we could be forgiven for being delusionists and thinking that things were not going too badly. To be honest, we had been applying a decent bit of pressure, but that’s exactly what Man Utd pay tens of millions of pounds in wages to their defenders to cope with. Ferdinand may well be one of the most louche and dislikeable people on the planet, but as a defender he’s not bad. As they broke out of defence on 19 minutes the more optimistic of us appealed for offside but a) he probably wasn’t and b) Rennie and Co. Would never have given it, and you couldn’t argue with the finish. We’d barely finished shouting “potato face” when the ball was knocked in from our right and Saha (one of my least favourite footballers, thanks to him being an ex-mag as well as a money-grabbing., lazy, mercenary) popped away the second.

Shit, that must be it, but there’s one thing that we aint, it’s lie-down –and- die- boys. Chops ran down the left, but there was nobody to take on the cross. Dicka was winning ball after ball in the centre, but nobody around him was picking it up and doing the right thing. We had a midfielder at right back, a centre-half at left back, and an inside forward at outside right. Man Utd had three internationals for every position, but Wallace managed a decent shot well over on the half hour. Gordon produced a couple of good saves in the space of a few seconds, the game warmed up, and the bairn behind fell asleep again. Five minutes from the break, Jones and Chopra exchanged passes only to see the shot from the latter tipped over, and the corner come to nothing. That’s why they’re champions, I suppose.

As the first half ticked away, there was a free kick to them, as there always is, and, as there always is (doesn’t compute grammatically, but you get my drift) there was a man in a Man U shirt to pop away a sublime dead ball. What can you do – it’s why they’re champions, I suppose.

For the second half, Wallace was replaced by Leadbitter, with Waghorn moving to the left which seemed a bit daft to me, but then I only watch the game and shout about it a lot. Presumably this meant one up front, and while we won a lot of tackles in the middle, we did sweet bugger-all with most of the ball we won. When we did win a free-kick in a decent forward position, Yorke took it far too quickly and they were away with it again. Jones managed a decent shot on the turn that was well saved, but it only ever looked like a token gesture even after only an hour. Richardson replaced Yorke and waited a full five minutes before touching the ball, but once awake, he gave brief glimpses of the sort of incisive pass of which he is capable. They resorted to two at the back (why take four defenders into the match when you need only get two dirty?) and continued to toy with us. Chopra did manage to break and find Richardson, but the shot was weak and wide. On 85 minutes, as the crowd streamed away and the bairn behind slept soundly, the ref gave what looked like a soft penalty. To be honest, when it’s 3-0 or 0-3, all penalties are going to be looked on as a bit soft, but to give the honour of the kill to Saha wasn’t very nice at all Fergie, you beetroot-faced get.

O’Donovan’s introduction at the expense of Chops gave nowt to the game and that was it, apart from yet another good save from Gordon. The ref might have been poor, but so were we, and a couple of decent individual performances against Man Utd won’t win you the game.

Another decent display by Collins, an impressive debut by Waghorn, and a lot of saves by Gordon couldn’t keep my Man of the Match award going to Etuhu, despite his contribution being mostly destructive.

Keep the faith

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