The day started in the cold, although not as early as it could have, thanks to the tea-time kick-off. The frost on the car was of the Joey Barton type ( thick but not really that hard) as we scraped it clean and headed for Thinford, only to be told that the “transport authority” in Liverpool had warned us that if we arrived in the town before 3:15, we could be subject to a fine. Talk about infringement of a person’s civil liberties – I’m sure that if we took the case to the European court of human rights we’d get it sorted, but why should we have to? As it was , we phoned the polis from a snowbound Hartshead services to tell them that we’d made decent time and were going to arrive in the ‘Pool about two, and they came back with the reply that, as long as Stan vouched for every one of the ninety-odd of us, we were welcome as long as none of us went “ on the lash” – their words. Pathetic.

So we dodged the purple wheelie-bins, avoided getting arrested for D & D, and taxi’d into the Roscoe Head, named after a former Radio One DJ (I think) where it was quiet, the beer was fine, and the food was as fast as a microwave could be but perfectly good. Rob from Uni joined us, and, as a mag, couldn’t argue against our description of what was going on upon Tyneside as an absolute circus. It wasn’t until we’d passed THE Joey Barton McDonalds and arrived at the Dispensary that we got caught up in the mood of the town – Man U were the subject of derision on the TV, and Liverpool fans were back in their normal mode of self-love. They’re great, they’re the city of culture, that’s where the Beatles came from, if they were made of chocolate they’d lick themselves to death.

The much-awaited return of our potential saviour Richardson lasted all of two minutes as he went down holding what looked like his dodgy hamstring, and we were forced into a change before we’d had time to sort out where we were playing anyway. With Gordon in goal, and Bardsley and Collins at fullback and Nos and Evans in the middle, the back looked steady enough, while in midfield Deano, Miller, Richo and Murphy had started, with Chops and Jones up front. With Richo gone, Chops went wide right and Prica joined Jones. Pennant broke down their right on 12 minutes and we defended well before Torres provided a Premiership tumble to win a decidedly dodgy free-kick. Again, we defended it well, and Bardsley showed his no-nonsense side by thumping the ball away. Chopra did a good bit of ball-burglary, but we couldn’t build in it before Gerrard cleverly backed into Miller and the ref fell for it (not for the first or last time) and whipped out a yellow card for our man. Gerrard clashed with Jones on 30 to win a free kick when a penalty could have gone our way. Bardsley again showed some good defending, then Gordon produced a good save after Pennant’s good run down their right, then repeated the trick when Bardsley and Torres nutted each other.

Just before the break, Evans got in a good block on Torres as Liverpool began to exert a bit of pressure (began?) and our foundations began to shake a bit, but Nos produced a great chase and tackle. The first half had been a story of Liverpool never quite producing what they threatened to, and us defending well while almost (but not quite) producing anything of our own while almost getting into the box to threaten the over-rated follicle-challenged Iberian midget in their goal. You could almost sense the home fans and team getting nervous, but we couldn’t quite get through.

In the second, Prica was given ten minutes to do what he does, but unfortunately he’s very much a striker and therefore not equipped to move around the field and fill in elsewhere and was replaced by O’Donovan. Soon after this, ‘Pool produced a good cross from the right and Crouch, at 19 feet tall, was waiting at the back post to head down and in. Some criticism of Gordon was made, but I can’t see what he could have done about that one. Torres got in a good shot that was matched by Gordon, then they brought on Benayoun (I’m sorry, but he looks like he’s about to die, I’ve never seen a professional sportsman who looks so ill) for the miss-firing Luca. Crouch tried a bicycle kick which was blocked, then Gordon pulled of another top save to knock the ball over, and we cleared the resultant corner. Their pressure paid off as Torres found himself one-on-one against Gordon, and hit his shot as hard as you’d expect a £20 million forward to hit it. Gordon guessed wrong and went right, the ball went in. Still we didn’t give up, and Murphy produced a good chest and shot to which Carragher two hands. One hand, I can accept as accidental. Two, especially in this instance, was a clear a penalty as you’ll ever see and further evidence that ref Stiles was playing up to the cameras and falling prey to the Anfield experience. The low point of a very, very poor performance. ON 73, Miller leapt to head the ball but found his was blocked by a boot at his forehead – not what I’d normally call a penalty, but one that would have gone Liverpool’s way. We got nowt. With ten to go, we swung in a left-wing corner and, after the initial header was blocked, should have scored but O’Donovan fired over the top. Our third penalty shout ended with a free-kick on the edge of the box but was wasted, then the ball went down the other end, we saw a foul by Nos but the ref – only a couple of yards away – gave nothing until the linesman flagged. I’m not disputing the fact that it was a penalty, but I’ll moan all week about the ref’s inability to see something so obvious so close. As it was, Gordon got a good hand to Gerrard’s spot-kick but couldn’t keep it out.

So 3-0 flattered them more than a bit, we weren’t that bad, and it was another example of the ref falling prey to the “top four syndrome” when they’re scared shitless of upsetting the likes of Benitez. Ferguson, Wenger and co. I don’t mind getting beat (well, I do actually) but it makes it very hard to take when the better team, as Liverpool undoubtedly were, are given the backing of the ref because he’s too scared to do what the ref did on Tuesday night and just officiate and let the game flow. Remember the one hand of Higginbotham than was struck by a shot by a Blackburn player that resulted in a penalty a month ago? Same ref, two Carragher hands, no penalty. No wonder folks get upset.

In the real world, we should forget about games like this and make sure we win games like next Saturday’s against Wigan. Their win over West Ham wasn’t good for us, but they’re still on the same points as us, while several other teams are hanging around the 22-27 point mark and could do with a good thumping. Mags included, but would you trust the smogs to do us a favour?

I wouldn’t.

Man of the Match? Bardsley showed that the Prem is the place he should be playing, but Miller just edged it for me. Non-man of the match was Rob Stiles, who produced a display that didn’t affect the result but did affect the score and showed everything that’s wrong with more than a few Prem officials by smiling nicely at Liverpool and frowning nastily as us.

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