A double decker. Fantastic. Great views of the land as we headed south. Or it would have been if the Leicester Constabulary had got their fingers out of their collective arses. They asked us to be at Leicester Forest East before 13:00, so we got there by then and waited. By 13:15 there was no sign of our promised escort, so I did what folks should do and wound up the IPhone for a contact number, and sent them a text which read “ we’ve been here since 12:30, where are you?” They rang back, bless them, within five minutes, but they were more concerned with where I’d got their number from than any pending disaster. “Off your website” was the answer they got but obviously didn’t want. Oh, we’ve downgraded the match and we aren’t policing it, so find your own way there.

Great. We managed to get there before kick-off, more to do with good luck than good judgement and the gadgie in the Swan and Rushes advising us where to put our pints (down our collective necks, which turned out to be a good idea)., we fetched up at the slowest cash turnstile since time began. With the latest object of our affection Riveros still held up by red tape (haway man Brucie, you’ve had enough practice, sort it out), we lined up, numbered on to eleven with no names….

Ming The Merciless (olet)
Ferdy Bramble Turner Richo
Al Muhumadi (spelling) Hendo Catts Steed
Campbell Bent

The ground was half used, in that one end and one side were closed, with us in the sunny end. There was a pretty harmless looking clash after a couple of minutes which left Leicester with a free kick and Steed on the ground, but he was OK after treatment. Their number 11 put the subsequent chance high and horribly wide, then Steed, fully recovered, fed Bent and his first shot was saved and the follow-up donkey kick went just over the bar. The game was played in sunshine so brilliant that the lad next to me actually applied sun cream while we were playing. Again, Steed found his man – this time Campbell, who controlled it, came back inside, and fired into the far sie of the net on seven minutes. Nice one.

Leicester looked lively, and new boy Titus was called upon to show his calmness a few times, while partner Turner did what he does best – get shot if there’s any hint of danger. Ming showed great timing to get to the feet of DJ Campbell (remember him from Brentford?) and save the day, and Rico showed willingness to et away down the wing at every opportunity. Great against sides like Leicester (and Blackpool, the mags, and Bolton) but will it work against the big boys? We’ll have to see. Steed almost got Al-M away, then we were almost caught on the back foot when Rico tried to play football rather than put his foot through the ball, which is what’s needed at times. Leicester burst through the middle on 17 minutes and levelled it with a nice goal, but we should have stopped that passage of play fifty yards out. Andy King the goal scorer – no, not the Andy King of Everton from years back, but a promising lad it might be worth looking at in the future.

Catts was getting a little too snappy in midfield, and might have got a card in a league game, then Ming fisted a powerful drive over the bar. The shot from the subsequent corner struck Ferdy’s arse and was eventually collected by the keeper, but it was almost 1-2 when Leicester broke down our left and just got the cross wrong. Ferdy left the field in 23 minutes, replaced by Bardsley, and Bent was straight in but the keeper took the ball off his toes at the second attempt. Bardsley set Al M away, but his low cross evaded everybody. He was thwarted again soon after when Bramble, showing an eye for a good ball out of defence, set him away, but the keeper was there again.

So, a lively first half, and both sets of fans sort of happy with the score, and some brave keeping from Ming to thank for keeping us level. There were no changes for the second half, and Steed carried on where he’d left off in the first by feeding Bent. His head on eventually fell to Hendo, who hit it form the edge of the box and a big deflection left the keeper on his backside as the ball bobbled over the line. That was the end of the scoring, but not the football, as both sides rang the changes. Colback for Steed, Bolo for Catts, Titus for Da Silva, and Waghorn for Campbell. The last of those (although not the first change) brought massive applause from the home fans, and the lad proceeded to take all of the corners, throw ins, and free-kicks, as well as making the tea and selling programmes. There was time for another change when Hendo took a knock and was replaced by Liddle, who looked useful. The game ran down in lively fashion, a good work-out for both sides.

So what did the 7,905 crowd learn? Well, Rico and Ferdy will do as makeshift fullbacks. Titus wouldn’t get panicky in an earthquake and can pass the ball – and he’s bloody huge – and Al-M is fast and direct, and will be useful if we can get the ball to him. Steed and Bolo showed that there’s no substitute for experience, and Jones can be a handful at any level. Henderson continues to improve at an exponential rate, and Catts needs to take a chill pill now and then. Riveros and Angeleri can only make the side better, and you could see exactly where they would fit in. Catts and the right back had better watch out.

Job done, I suppose, and the real thing starts in a fortnight.

Final Score: 2-1

ALS Man of the Match: Ming The Merciless

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