The first time I went to Chelsea away I was stood outside the away end selling ALS and some dick pulled a knife on me. I offered him a free copy but he didn’t see the funny side of it. To be honest he wasn’t that big and was clearly a wannabe hooligan, but it still put the shits up me and put me off Stamford Bridge for good.

That’s not to say that I haven’t been back there numerous times since 1989, but that doesn’t stop me hating them. I don’t really mind if blokes want to kick the shit out of the other team’s blokes who want to have a fight with them but I’m a lover not a fighter so it doesn’t interest me.

Over the years the district of Stamford Bridge has changed somewhat. Gone are the right wing stickers on every lamppost, fat blokes drinking cheap cans and hard looking skinheads trying to outstare you. They have now been bizarrely replaced posh restaurants, foreign fans sipping espressos and families going to the match. I’m not sure which era I detest the most, but I guess that is the gentrification of football for you.

In fact it’s fair to say to me (as my mate did last night) why bother going if you’re just going to moan about it? Fair point, I hate the place, it costs £50 to get in and we always lose. On the other hand we don’t, we sometimes win!

Remember the Milk Cup Semi Final horses on the pitch and Clive Walker; remember the 4-2 win there at the start of the decade and goals from Hutchison, McCann and SUperKev? To be fair there were numerous trouncings too that I won’t go into, but that’s what us football fans do. We go out of blind faith and loyalty and sometimes stupidity and every now and again we leave happy. Football’s the sadomasochistic drug that we love.

That’s how I felt when I woke up anyway, but by the time we got to the outskirts of London I was well up for it! January and February are going to cost a pretty penny for Sunderland fans too what with Pompey away twice, trips to Chelsea and Arsenal and Everton away thrown in, but I ignored my bank balance and got the beers in. £4 a pint what a bargain.

Then news of the team came through on my mobile when I was walking from pub to ground thanks to my dad... Sunderland: Fulop, Bardsley, McCartney, Cana (C), Da Silva, Murphy, Malbranque, Henderson, Meyler, Bent, Jones. Subs: Carson, Zenden, Campbell, L Noble, R Noble, Liddle, Healy.

Not the strongest line up and the look of the bench made me shit myself, but considering the injuries and suspensions we have right now I guess we should be grateful for small mercies. i.e., Jones being fit and Cana being able to play centre half.

I’d kind of built up a (false) sense of confidence in the pub but once the match started it was over for us really. We were well beaten. I don’t want to punish you by writing about it, so here’s all you need to know... it was SHIT!

Final Score: 2-7 (two seven)

ALS Man Of The Match: No one

Harry McSpanner

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