My central heating is just about to give up the ghost and it’s very cold, wet and miserable outside. To add to my good humour I haven’t managed to get a ticket to this afternoon’s match but as ever I’ll have a wander down to Stamford Bridge to see what I can sniff out.

Despite the controversial nature of two of their goals in last season’s corresponding fixture, we were completely outclassed and I think Chelsea could’ve won 10-0 if they’d have been bothered. I can’t say I’m expecting anything out of today’s game but also can’t help hoping we’ll pull off one of the performances we’ve managed against the other top sides.

I’d been hoping to watch the Ghana v Togo game on Monday but as we all know that game didn’t go ahead so I wanted to make sure I saw the Ghana v Ivory Coast match last night. I was feeling whacked out after a busy week but after a couple of restorative Paulaner lagers I made my way to the Manjaro Bar in Holloway Road, London’s premier Ghanaian bar.

I was disappointed to discover that I was the only person there apart from the manageress, who remembered me from two years ago and called me (and everyone else) darling. One or two people drifted in to collect takeaways and lingered awhile but clearly the competition had failed to whet the appetite of London’s large Ghanaian community as it had last time round. Ivory Coast deserved to win 3-1 even though they played with ten men for the last thirty-five minutes after Eboue was red-carded after a kamikaze two footed tackle.

They’d led 1-0 at the break and then went further ahead ten minutes after Eboue’s departure with a fantastic free-kick by Tiene that’s well worth seeing again. Drogba headed the third near the end and at least he, Kalou and Essien won’t be lined up against us today. Ghana got a dodgy penalty in stoppage-time but were well beaten. As Gyan waited to take the penalty the manageress announced, “I pray to God that we score!” Sunderland possible signing sensation Demel replaced goalscorer Gervinho on the hour and though he earned no further remarks from the commentators, he played his part in nullifying Ghana’s attack. Ghana could still go through if they beat Burkina Faso on Tuesday at 4 o’clock. I’m hoping to keep the manageress company again then but I’ll have to go easy on those huge bottles of Star beer.

A lot of the underground was closed and so I had to get to Fulham Broadway by a very higgledy-piggledy route. This meant that I didn’t get to the ground till 2.55, by which time most fans were inside and there weren’t many people hanging about. One lad next to me was standing by himself brandishing a ticket but kept asking passers-by if they had a spare ticket. It was looking bleak and so I started to walk away towards the main road and decided to head home if I didn’t encounter any prospective sellers.

My luck was in as just as I got to the corner a guy coming the other way announced, “Anyone looking for a ticket?” He just wanted the face value and very soon I was in a Chelsea section near the half-way line. I’d only missed about three minutes and I heard on the way in that it’d been a lively game.

I was pleased to see Kenwyne on and thought I could see Murphy too. Several minutes later Chelsea took the lead when one of our defenders, I think it was Bardo, stood and waited for the offside whistle to blow as Anelka raced passed him and finally slotted the ball in. We battled back at once and in fact never ceased to do so. A few minutes later we were lucky to escape punishment for a clear handball just outside our area but ten minutes after that Chelsea increased their lead when Malouda stormed through the middle of our defence and slotted it into the bottom left corner.

Five minutes later we were three-down when Andy Cole scored from a very acute angle after battling down the left. I was having serious déjà vu at that point and Chelsea got their fourth shortly afterwards when Cole again got to our goal-line before crossing for Lampard to head it in. The guy who’d flogged me the ticket, whom I sat next to and chatted to throughout, had asked me if some of our fans were leaving after the third went in and I said I wouldn’t be surprised as I’d seen some guys leave at the same stage last year. Anyway, there were plenty heading to the exits after the fourth. Chelsea had a few other very good chances but we had a few too and strange though it may sound, I don’t think that we were playing particularly badly. It was simply that Chelsea with their great passing, creative movement off the ball, endless clever dummies and back-heels, solid defending, ability to hold off challenges and accurate finishing were a class above us.

At the break Bolo Zenden, who was out warming up, was announced over the p.a. and received a very warm reception from the home fans. Well, they could afford to be generous. I chatted to my neighbour about Ian Porterfield’s time at Chelsea and he said that he was generally well remembered but I was a bit alarmed to hear him say that he was a pal of ex-Chelsea player Tommy Harmer, who scored a winner against us in a crucial end of season match in the 1962-1963 season and thus denied us promotion. I believe the Echo reported that he knocked the ball in with what it termed ‘his jock-strap’. Older readers will remember that grown men were weeping on the terraces of Roker Park that day. I asked my neighbour about the Joe Cole rumours and he replied, “He won’t go nowhere.”

Obviously we were in for a good hiding as the second-half kicked off and it was a case off damage limitation coupled with the hope that Chelsea might decide to ease off a bit. They didn’t. I was disappointed to see that Steed, who’d been one of our best players, had been replaced by Zenden. We only had to wait seven minutes for Chelsea’s fifth, a header by Ballack, though Anelka had already hit the bar. Then something strange happened; we pulled one back. We fought well to win the ball in their half and it was passed to Bolo who controlled it well before slotting it in.

For the next five minutes or so we had the better of it and the Chelsea fans were sounding a bit rattled as our defenders were first to the ball and we flowed rapidly towards their end. Ten minutes after our goal we were five behind once more when Fulop fluffed his save and only succeeded in pushing it out to Anelka who smashed it straight past him into the net. A little later Campbell replaced Murphy and we were putting together some decent moves with Bolo looking very creative, though Kenwyne twice failed to link up with his great passes. Chelsea never let up and in the final minute Anelka crossed for Lampard to head their seventh but we didn’t let up either and with almost the final kick of the match Bent scored our second, knocking it in from a corner on the right. Though of course neither are remotely good, somehow 7-2 seems so much better than 5-0. One strange thing about the game; I don’t think there was single yellow card.

Unless we meet them later in the F.A. Cup, we won’t be seeing Chelsea for a good while and I’m very glad about that. On this form I can’t see anyone overtaking them in the league. As for us, I haven’t dared look at the league table yet and need some restorative food and drink before I do so. See you at Portsmouth next week.

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